Life gives us the experiences we need at the right time, and if we’re attentive, there’s no shortage of learning opportunities.
I had just finished reading the book Picos e Vales (Peaks and Valleys), I went out to take my son to a friend’s house and took the opportunity to go for a walk along the waterfront and think about the reading, continuing this conversation with Spencer Johnson (the book’s author) inside me.
The book talks exactly about the importance of maintaining a learning attitude when we go through the most difficult moments in our lives, which he calls Valleys, so that we can overcome them and emerge stronger from each challenge that life presents us with. In this way, we will be able to enjoy the Peak moments more wisely, which are our moments of victory, of achieving our personal and professional goals.
And Spencer Johnson also talks about the importance of being aware of reality, because in the course of our lives there will be various Peaks and Valleys, which are just moments that we experience. It’s essential not to confuse ourselves by thinking that the Valley or the Peak is me. It’s my attitude towards life that determines who I become during my journey.
Returning to my walk, on my way home, I stopped at a red light and noticed that right there on Florianópolis’ Beira-mar Avenue, where the thermometer was reading 11 degrees tonight, there was a tall man, dressed in a black jacket, sneakers, wearing a cap, a man who looked to be over 40.
This man stood in front of a garbage can and took out bags of garbage from inside the garbage can, and when he found cans of soft drinks or other beverages, he put them on the floor, closed the bag, returned it to the garbage can, and after this ritual, with a firm and I would even say elegant movement, he crushed the cans that were next to his feet and put them in a black bag which, after closing, he carried behind his shoulder, and continued walking, with his posture erect, head held high, probably to the next garbage can.
This scene happened very quickly, and when I looked ahead, the signal was still closed, there in front of me was a young man in shorts, staring at me while holding a piece of cardboard written in large letters HUNGER.
I was thinking at that moment, I looked into the boy’s eyes, and he looked away, walked out of my sight, and for some reason decided not to come to me. The signal then opened.
It was impossible for me, who works with Leaders and Team Engagement, not to reflect on how much that man who pulled cans out of the garbage was a true leader of his life, because no matter what valley he was living in today, he decided to remain in control of his life, and to take control with dignity, just as Viktor Frankl says in his book In Search of Meaning: “You can deprive a person of everything except the ultimate freedom to assume an alternative attitude to the given conditions”.
On the other hand, that boy, so young, in the cold, wearing shorts, carrying the word HUNGER, needing someone to look after his situation. And not at him, as I did. He was also taking a stand against the conditions he was given.
A man, assuming his responsibility and doing what he can to maintain his autonomy and dignity. And a young man, saying that he is hungry and needs help.
Like them, at various times in our lives we can take the lead and do what is in our control to get out of the situation we find ourselves in, or we can submit, giving up what is in our control and waiting for someone else to do for us what we are not doing.
It’s the difference between the posture of a man and that of a boy. And this doesn’t depend on age or situation, it’s related to an internal attitude of leadership within us.
Of course, there are various social issues involved in what I’ve experienced today, and it’s never our place to judge what makes a person central or on the margins of their life.
But it’s always up to us to reflect on what I’m doing for myself and for the system I’m part of, within the conditions I have to make a difference in order to have a positive impact on the future I want.
What can I do as an individual and what can we do as a society? How can we position ourselves so that we can learn from this Valley we’re in today, something that will help us get out of this situation that is so painful for so many people?
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